My first counselor and the start of my journey

My first counselor was amazing and we really connected. I would find out later down the road just how blessed I was as so many people have issues in locating a good therapist/counselor. I was blessed all through my journey with as you will discover, if you decide to walk with me...
Catherine A. was amazing and I grew through working with her and also attended a small group after awhile. A group of female incest survivors that was beginning to be good for me, helped me. Then one day we were informed that the group, OUR Group, had to disband because a court ordered group for male abusers had to meet and they needed our night...So many emotions, anger, disbelief and frustration. Now what were we to do???The courts ordered CASA to do the male abuser's group and we got bumped off.  Lovely...

I never could find another group to attend and depression tugged at my soul.
My primary Dr. had placed me on medication for depression which was definitely helping.  Before that I was so deep in an abyss I could not even see a glimmer of light.

"depression" 

THE DARKNESS 

surrounds me 

an abyss 

forever to enclose me 

i try to climb out 

but all the rungs on the ladder 

are broken 

i grasp for the rope 

but that is frayed 

i SHOUT for HELP 

but no - one hears 

my CRIES 

the WALLS are HIGH 

forged in THICK STEEL 

the rains come 

and they are HEAVY 

i FEAR 

i will DROWN 

if i cannot ESCAPE this DARKNESS 

that grips me 

like DEATH 

i am so confused

I had certain dates my body would literally "gear up for" and panic attacks, bad ones would happen. Freezing up in the store because I could not recall what I was there for, or once yanking my then teenage son out from behind me at the grocery store. I freaked out whenever Anyone was behind me.

SO much has happened in my life and I never realized just How affected I was by it all until that day I walked into work and Jill looked  at me.....
Since the day I began therapy with Catherine A. at CASA in Inverness, FL I have learned so much about myself and the damage done to my "little girl."
It was Catherine who introduced me to  Shakti Gawain and creative visualization.  Awesome material and great healing tool. It began to open up emotions, emotions which I was not sure I could handle.